so christmas is coming with work pilling up, there will be no rest or respite down the line in the near and distant future.
yeah strangely, this master program is more than i wished for. for one it is more work than imagined, where we have to write 3 reports, look for an internship in a crazy economic climate (failure of which means all that was done, was done in nought), read all these books then end the semester with exams. fucking hell, it would be alright if we didn’t have meetings with the agence d’urba of lyon. yeah i don’t want to get into details there, legal constraints see.
anyway, the reason why i’m writing today is to vent. i realised that for the whole of my adult relationship life, i’ve been having long distance relationships. sure it was good from the start but after awhile, you need to have someone there by your side in the physical sense.
at the moment, sure i adore the girl i’m with (long distance again) but… and this is a long but. there has to be a purpose to the things that we do! ESPECIALLY if it means a lot and may affect the course of your life. how i put it, in most relationships, being together and seeing each other every and/or other day (i’m not that needy btw) is the only way you can be sure there may be something there. take this away, you are gambling in the casino where the house always wins. what i’m saying in the above analogy is that seeing each other regularly would be like having a knowledge of counting cards. whatever.
so right, i’m sorry for being cryptic, but there is no other way to put it. all i am saying is that, if in a long distance relationship, there has to be a point in time where the couple live together – just to see if there may be something of worth there. coming back to my relationship, this possibility seems to be fading as the girl is keen on doing her internship in italy while i stay put in france, this would mean if and when i leave europe in september 2012, the relationship will be more in limbo than ever.
so yes while i’m heading to her place for 2 weeks to spend the christmas holidays, i’m inclined to write about an episode of Party Down, where it was mentioned – a relationship that works is one that goes on on slow heat. and right now, seeing each other every other month or even every 2 or 3 months means that what we have is scotland’s culinary contribution to the world – deep fried mars bars – fully supercharged where the insides bulge out in a chaotic mess. altogether yummy but at the same time unrecognisable with each bar. whatever.
so anyway, there i am again. 26 years old and i never really had your typical boy meets girl-next-door relationship where i could finish the day at the girlfriend’s or mine and just waste away time. come january after the end of the holiday period, i can already see what will happen. i would simply come back to my life in lyon and wait to see her again.
